You may have heard the true story of a shipping container that fell overboard in 1992, releasing 29,000 rubber ducks into the Pacific Ocean. Over the months and years that followed, these little ducks washed ashore in Alaska, Hawaii, South America, Australia—even traveling inside Arctic ice.
But many of them remained trapped in the North Pacific Gyre—a vast, swirling current where debris circles endlessly unless dislodged by a storm, a shift in the wind, or a lucky collision with something greater than itself.
For over 40 years, I was one of those little ducks. A third—arguably fourth—generation member of a high-control, high-demand religion. Faithfully, unquestioningly, I followed the only path I had ever known. Until the storm came.
Leaving that world behind was supposed to be freedom, but instead, I found myself in an wild sea. The weight of self-limiting beliefs, the tangled mess of emotions, the intense grief for a life unlived, deeply entrenched shame. No formal education. No savings or roadmap. Chronic illnesses as my reluctant companions. To say nothing of walking away from the only community I’d ever known, and the loss of dear loved ones.
Falling out of love with a belief system that has shaped your every thought, action, goal and relationship? It’s an existential freefall. A raw and grueling reckoning. (Although I now believe it is less existential crisis and more existential clear-out.)
And yet, those little rubber ducks? Over time, they found their way to shore.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own gyre—whether from fear, self-doubt, or the weight of an old identity—I want you to know that you don’t just have to survive. You can thrive.
Because we have SO much to give.
Why I’m Doing This Now
I cobbled together the video above on Christmas Day, 2021 (I was quite proud of my editing skills!😁), one year after leaving my former faith. At the time, I envisioned it as the intro to a course I wanted to create, a way to support those just a few steps behind me. I even went so far as to interview insightful people in both the trauma-informed and “awareness” spaces. One such interview is here and here.
But I wasn’t ready. I was still navigating my own pain. You can hear my voice catch in that video - the pain still so raw. The anger still so palpable.
Now? Oh, I’m so ready!
But not in the way I first imagined. I thought my path was to help people exiting high-control religion. Instead, it’s guiding anyone ready to overcome fear and embrace the power of their own voice.
In November of 2024 I used the little yellow duck video as the basis of my Meditation Teacher Training paper. I recorded the paper as an audio so that my teacher had the option of listening to it, as well as reading it. Listening back, I heard something different—my voice, once heavy with grief, had lifted. There were even some chortles and chuckles in there.
Does that mean I’m healed? All is ticketyboo now? (Suzy falls to the floor with a belly laugh!)
Ha, no. Thankfully, life is so much more rich and complex than that. I will always be healing because healing is simply creating awareness. It’s a life long journey of living, laughing, crying, expanding - feeling it all. And I’m here to experience it all. The seering pain. The delirium of abject joy.
Expression is the opposite of depression
From personal experience, I know that the cost of self-suppression is immense (something I intend to write about this month). But self-expression? Expression is the opposite of depression.
This is why I do what I do and write about what I write about, not to dwell on past pain, but to help others find the courage to use their voice—whether on a stage, in a room, or simply within their own life.
A heart desiring to share, give, and serve from the most vulnerable and authentic self is so powerful. A heart that desires to bring everything back to love. Especially deep love of self - which is then reflected in every human interaction we have. As within, so without.
And this is why I’ve created two deeply special offerings for March and April.
March: Working Through Fear & Resistance
💫 Three short, powerful Live sessions per week.
✨ Coaching questions, NLP techniques, and mindfulness exercises.
💫 How our words shape our reality.
✨ Special guest appearances.
If fear is holding you back from being seen, from stepping into your magic, or from sharing what’s in your heart—this month is for you.
April: Public Speaking Mastery
📣 Three Live sessions per week.
🪄 Confidence, delivery, and structuring powerful talks.
📣 What makes a fantastic speech (from someone who received training in public speaking for 42 years).
🪄 Replays available.
One of the greatest gifts I took from my religious upbringing was the sheer amount of public speaking experience. Every week, for decades, I was immersed in it. Now, I want to pass that knowledge on—not through rigid technique, but in a way that allows your true voice to shine.
Because we can’t step onto a stage—or into any space of true expression—when fear is keeping us small. That’s why we start in March with the inner work before moving into the art of speaking in April. (And if you’d like to subscribe for just one of the months, be my guest!)
And the best part?
You can access both months for just £11.11 per month.
Why So Low?
Because for 42 years, I was taught to give everything—time, energy, gifts, skills —without question. The phrase used was, “We empty ourselves.”
When all you’ve known is giving voluntarily, well, this creates a void of value.
So when it came to receiving, I’ve really struggled. Starting a business has felt unnatural. Charging for my work felt…wrong. It has been, and continues to be, a growth journey in and of itself.
But more and more I see things differently. Reciprocity is sacred. We commit to change when we have skin in the game - hahaha I should know!
And what I’m offering here is years of hard-won experience—not just certifications, but the real work of pushing through fear, shame, and self-doubt.
This is for you if:
💫 You want to move beyond fear and resistance and step into your full expression.
✨ You want to feel confident using your voice—in life, on stage, or in your creative work.
💫 You want to trust that your words, gifts, and presence matter.
Sign up now for just £11.11 per month (only £22.22 total for both months).
After April, subscriptions will drop to £5 per month, but March and April’s special content will only be available at the current price.
Let’s build a community of self-trust, self-expression, and courage.
With aaaall the love in the Suzyverse,💫
PS. I frequently post Notes on Substack about all things self-expression. By all means, show them some love as they’re super shy.🥸
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